It would be helpful to have a little more information about what you’re trying to achieve.
If you’re hoping that your two Flames will be connected such that when you drop something into the shared library on either one it will appear in the shared library of the other, then you’re not going to be able to achieve that with your current setup. If your Flames each have their own storage for media then they aren’t really “sharing.” The Shared Library(and Flame more generally) doesn’t have any native auto-sync’ing features that I’m aware of. If you drop a clip into the Shared Library on Flame A, the media will still only reside on Flame A’s storage. It will need to be wired to Flame B before it can be accessed on Flame B, which will require manually push or pulling the media from one Flame to another.
In fact, unless you’re working off of a common stone then I’m pretty sure the Shared Library doesn’t really provide any additional functionality at all.
In practice, I find that the Shared Library is mostly just a bin that artists use as a designated library for others to pull from. Once a project gets too big I occasionally have artists tell me they can’t find the shot I’ve assigned them. In these cases I just drop it into my Shared Library, save off the project and then instead of digging through the rest of my libraries there is a clearly delineated space where even a monkey could find the setup.
If you want to create a workflow where two Flames are actually “sharing” the Shared Library then you’ll need to create one storage from which both Flames are working. I would highly recommend you watch Alan’s video on how to set this up.
As for Flame A seeing Flame B but Flame B not seeing Flame A there could be a few things going on. A good place to start might be with S+W on Flame B. You could play around with the S+W tools sw_wiretap_ping and sw_framestore_dump to get a better idea of whether Flame B is even connecting to Flame A. Then you may need to play around with the sw_probed.cfg to see if you can get Flame B to see Flame A. Worst case you could manually configure the sw_framestore_map.