When I was single & dating years ago, I told a girl I make visual fx and edit and make commercials and design graphics and she replied with, ‘so you’re in IT…’ 
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did you marry her?
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I do things that other people take credt for.
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I make narcissists feel good about themselves.
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Ha!I used to use that as well
Haha maybe I should have
I’m a creative button pusher
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Yes.
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I’m a hibachi chef but for pictures.
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I’d say this a pretty good representation of clients then… like, I’m throwing it right to your mouth why are you not catching it, oh my god, did you literally flip your wig? And why do you keep crying, it’s just the process, it’s fine, it’s just little fire, no it’s not all burnt up… Hilarious Hibachi fails - YouTube
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Next client session I am totally gonna flip some shrimp into my clients mouth off my Hibachi, I mean, Wacom.
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Today I had a client tell me I needed to remove the account and routing numbers from a check so that the “real person” talent wouldn’t get her identity stolen. I explained that it was actually a prop check. You would think it would end there, the producer being perhaps embarrassed for not knowing, but no; we had to prove it. Where do they find these people?
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“Talent should come wearing shoot-ready clothing, and also have their own checkbook”
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my wife worked for a bank many years ago, and had a customer call asking to have their name changed on the bank account. Seems someone had forged a name on a cheque, so rather than shut the account, decided the safest way was to change her name by deed poll…as if the crook would know!